The Power Of Thoughts: Everything Happens For A Reason With Melissa Deally

Alan Carroll: 00:00:00

Melissa, welcome.

Melissa Deally: 00:00:02

Thank you very much, Alan, good to be here.

Alan Carroll: 00:00:05

Well, it's exciting for for me to be with

Alan Carroll: 00:00:08

you. Because we share a lot in common. And so we already have a

Alan Carroll: 00:00:17

connection, which is great. Yes. And the deep connection that we

Alan Carroll: 00:00:21

have is mindfulness. And so what I like to do is have the

Alan Carroll: 00:00:25

audience experience your stories and about mindfulness and how

Alan Carroll: 00:00:31

you got into the mindfulness, umbrella. And various paths

Alan Carroll: 00:00:37

under the mindfulness umbrella, and how you bring mindfulness

Alan Carroll: 00:00:41

into the world to heal. To heal the stress and the agitation

Alan Carroll: 00:00:47

caused by the put them in close, but the chaos that's happening

Alan Carroll: 00:00:52

with all the stirring up of our thoughts. And so I'd like to

Alan Carroll: 00:00:56

welcome you to the mindful you podcast, and have added,

Melissa Deally: 00:01:03

well, thank you. And I'm just gonna go back a

Melissa Deally: 00:01:06

little bit in time, back to when I was in the corporate world,

Melissa Deally: 00:01:09

which was up until eight years ago. And back then I really

Melissa Deally: 00:01:13

didn't know anything about mine fullness. But sure, I'd heard of

Melissa Deally: 00:01:17

meditation, I'd never done it didn't really understand the

Melissa Deally: 00:01:21

value of it, I was in that go, go go doo doo doo world that the

Melissa Deally: 00:01:25

corporate world gets you caught up in. And then one day, big

Melissa Deally: 00:01:29

fish bought little fish. And I was just given an hour to clear

Melissa Deally: 00:01:33

out my desk. And after 24 years, not even a word of thanks. And

Melissa Deally: 00:01:37

in that moment, I knew three things, I knew I was never going

Melissa Deally: 00:01:40

to work for someone else. Again, whatever I did next had to be

Melissa Deally: 00:01:42

more service to the planet and humanity. And then I had no idea

Melissa Deally: 00:01:46

what that be. And that was really the start of my journey

Melissa Deally: 00:01:51

into mindfulness, because now I had time time to explore who I

Melissa Deally: 00:01:57

was, and what I wanted to do with the second half of my

Melissa Deally: 00:02:01

career, and to allow myself to be guided into that versus

Melissa Deally: 00:02:07

forcing it. And I literally went from the hotel world of

Melissa Deally: 00:02:12

corporate to health and wellness and health and wellness had

Melissa Deally: 00:02:15

never been on my radar, other than I, you know, tried to eat

Melissa Deally: 00:02:20

well and exercise and look after my health. And through a series

Melissa Deally: 00:02:24

of circumstances, I was very much guided into this work. And

Melissa Deally: 00:02:31

part of that was both of my daughter's going through

Melissa Deally: 00:02:33

concussions at a very similar time. And I don't know if you've

Melissa Deally: 00:02:37

ever experienced concussions in your household, but it's tough

Melissa Deally: 00:02:41

for anybody who have a concussion, let alone teenage

Melissa Deally: 00:02:44

girls, and one in particular who was in grade 12 At the time, and

Melissa Deally: 00:02:48

life just shuts down because the brain can't handle that normal

Melissa Deally: 00:02:53

level of energy that it used to be able to handle. So she

Melissa Deally: 00:02:57

couldn't go to school, she couldn't participate in all the

Melissa Deally: 00:02:59

fun stuff, all the other kids were doing, couldn't go to prom,

Melissa Deally: 00:03:01

couldn't go to graduation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Melissa Deally: 00:03:05

And feeling like I'm missing out on everything. And it's very

Melissa Deally: 00:03:08

easy to for people with concussions to slip into

Melissa Deally: 00:03:11

meditation, and it sorry, into depression. So I started

Melissa Deally: 00:03:16

learning about meditation and mindfulness to support her, and

Melissa Deally: 00:03:21

also started learning that everything happens for a reason.

Melissa Deally: 00:03:24

And there was a reason I got let go, there was a reason she had

Melissa Deally: 00:03:28

this concussion. And part of me being let go was so that I was

Melissa Deally: 00:03:31

around and had the time to support both my daughters

Melissa Deally: 00:03:34

through their healing journeys. So we started practicing

Melissa Deally: 00:03:40

mindfulness, and slowing down as part of the healing process for

Melissa Deally: 00:03:45

these concussions and stepping into guided meditation

Melissa Deally: 00:03:50

practices. And just allowing the time to sit still and be and you

Melissa Deally: 00:03:57

know, reading the research about how powerful this is, how

Melissa Deally: 00:04:00

healing it is, for our mind for our entire nervous system. I

Melissa Deally: 00:04:04

started learning about breath work. And again, we have our

Melissa Deally: 00:04:07

breath with us all the time. It's something that we can do

Melissa Deally: 00:04:10

anywhere to drop ourselves out of that fight or flight state

Melissa Deally: 00:04:15

and into our parasympathetic nervous system stage. And soon

Melissa Deally: 00:04:21

after working with both girls and supporting them through

Melissa Deally: 00:04:24

their healing journey, I had also connected with a company

Melissa Deally: 00:04:28

that specialized in brain health supplementation, so I was giving

Melissa Deally: 00:04:31

them really good nutrition to support the healing as well as

Melissa Deally: 00:04:34

seeing physiotherapist to help them. I became known in my small

Melissa Deally: 00:04:39

community for helping my girls recover and both did fully

Melissa Deally: 00:04:43

recover. And then I was asked to work at a clinic. Yeah, that was

Melissa Deally: 00:04:46

very good news. Thank you. And I was asked to work at a clinic, a

Melissa Deally: 00:04:52

holistic clinic that was opening to help more people with

Melissa Deally: 00:04:55

concussion recoveries. And there is a need I Live in a ski town

Melissa Deally: 00:05:01

and there's winter at skiing in the summer, it's downhill

Melissa Deally: 00:05:03

biking. So there is a lot of concussions. However, I couldn't

Melissa Deally: 00:05:07

work there because I couldn't get insurance because I didn't

Melissa Deally: 00:05:10

have any training. I just had my own learning research and

Melissa Deally: 00:05:14

experience with my daughters. So I realized I need to go back to

Melissa Deally: 00:05:17

school. So I did that I went back to school and became a

Melissa Deally: 00:05:23

health coach. And even that was a gift because I had never even

Melissa Deally: 00:05:26

heard of the term health coach before. But I had called a

Melissa Deally: 00:05:29

friend who was a life coach and thought maybe I should be a life

Melissa Deally: 00:05:32

coach that had kind of been bouncing in the back of my head

Melissa Deally: 00:05:34

and not landed. And I asked him where he did his training, and

Melissa Deally: 00:05:37

he said, You shouldn't be a life coach, you need to be a health

Melissa Deally: 00:05:41

coach. And I went, what, what's that, and I took that to be a

Melissa Deally: 00:05:45

gift from the universe, and started researching health

Melissa Deally: 00:05:48

coaching schools and literally started 10 days later, I found

Melissa Deally: 00:05:51

one that I really aligned with, and jumped right in. And one of

Melissa Deally: 00:05:56

the first things that I learned there was that self care is not

Melissa Deally: 00:06:02

selfish. And previously, I had always thought that it was and

Melissa Deally: 00:06:07

that I had to look after everybody else first before I

Melissa Deally: 00:06:10

could look after myself. And I loved how it was presented that

Melissa Deally: 00:06:16

it is the most selfless act. And I then added a little bit more

Melissa Deally: 00:06:21

of a mantra to that, that self care is the most selfless act

Melissa Deally: 00:06:25

because it allows you to show up and give the world the best of

Melissa Deally: 00:06:27

you instead of what's left of you.

Alan Carroll: 00:06:30

Oh, that's sweet. So you say that again. Go ahead.

Alan Carroll: 00:06:33

And

Melissa Deally: 00:06:34

self care is the most selfless act because it

Melissa Deally: 00:06:37

allows you to show up and give the world the best of you

Melissa Deally: 00:06:40

instead of what's left of you. And that was absolutely pivotal

Melissa Deally: 00:06:46

for me, because I realized that I was giving my loved ones the

Melissa Deally: 00:06:50

ones nearest and dearest to me what was left of me, right, I

Melissa Deally: 00:06:54

thought I was serving them first. But I was actually

Melissa Deally: 00:06:57

running on empty and giving them what was left of me. And when I

Melissa Deally: 00:07:02

flipped it on its head and decided that I could care for

Melissa Deally: 00:07:05

myself first, I did have more energy for them. And so then I

Melissa Deally: 00:07:10

was able to build into my day and build my day around my self

Melissa Deally: 00:07:15

care, which included the mindfulness of a yoga practice,

Melissa Deally: 00:07:19

which I love, absolutely love my yoga, the mindful meditation

Melissa Deally: 00:07:25

practice, you know, in starting and ending my day was the

Melissa Deally: 00:07:28

meditation. I built in a gratitude practice, because I

Melissa Deally: 00:07:32

learned that our thoughts are so powerful, and our thoughts

Melissa Deally: 00:07:38

impact our actions, our behaviors, our results. So if I

Melissa Deally: 00:07:43

could change my thoughts that would change my behaviors that

Melissa Deally: 00:07:46

would change my results. And why not create more positivity out

Melissa Deally: 00:07:51

there, right? A lot of us go to sleep stressed out, we wake up

Melissa Deally: 00:07:55

in the night, we're already thinking about what we need to

Melissa Deally: 00:07:57

do the next day, and we're not getting great sleep, which means

Melissa Deally: 00:08:00

we wake up tired, less resilient to the stresses of the day. What

Melissa Deally: 00:08:04

if we could go to bed and have a really good deep restorative

Melissa Deally: 00:08:08

sleep, and one step and that is simply going to bed with

Melissa Deally: 00:08:12

positive thoughts running through our mind, because I

Melissa Deally: 00:08:15

learned our unconscious mind will work on whatever those last

Melissa Deally: 00:08:19

thoughts are we have as we go to sleep, and it will work on them

Melissa Deally: 00:08:21

all night long. So what are you thinking about as you're falling

Melissa Deally: 00:08:25

asleep? Are you thinking about the action violent movie that

Melissa Deally: 00:08:28

you just watched? Are you thinking about the book that you

Melissa Deally: 00:08:32

just read? And what are you feeding your mind in those last

Melissa Deally: 00:08:36

minutes before you go to sleep? And so what I started doing was

Melissa Deally: 00:08:39

feeding my mind gratitude, and thinking about my day, what was

Melissa Deally: 00:08:43

I grateful for and writing it down in my journal. And that let

Melissa Deally: 00:08:48

me go to sleep with all those positive thoughts and have a

Melissa Deally: 00:08:51

deeper, more restorative sleep. It also had just a really

Melissa Deally: 00:08:57

profound impact on how I went about my day because now it was

Melissa Deally: 00:09:01

in my RAs system that I was looking for gratitude. Our brain

Melissa Deally: 00:09:05

is wired to

Alan Carroll: 00:09:06

look for danger that was the acronym,

Melissa Deally: 00:09:09

their reticular activation system, the RAS

Melissa Deally: 00:09:12

system in our brain, that's when it becomes aware of something.

Melissa Deally: 00:09:16

So just as an example, you go and buy a new car, and you've

Melissa Deally: 00:09:20

you've tested four or five different cars, and you've

Melissa Deally: 00:09:23

settled on a Subaru. You've never had a Subaru before. You

Melissa Deally: 00:09:27

haven't even noticed them on the road. But it was the best car in

Melissa Deally: 00:09:29

the test driving and you love your new Subaru and now you're

Melissa Deally: 00:09:32

driving around and oh my goodness, there's Subarus

Melissa Deally: 00:09:35

everywhere you look because it's in your reticular activation

Melissa Deally: 00:09:39

system, whereas it wasn't before right? So I was doing this with

Melissa Deally: 00:09:43

gratitude. And instead of my brain looking for the danger to

Melissa Deally: 00:09:47

protect me from it started looking for the things that I

Melissa Deally: 00:09:50

could be thankful for. So when I was able to raise my vibration,

Melissa Deally: 00:09:56

raise my happiness level because I'm looking for the good In

Melissa Deally: 00:10:00

people, I'm looking for the good in my day, versus just relying

Melissa Deally: 00:10:04

on my safety mechanisms that are looking for the danger and

Melissa Deally: 00:10:07

looking for the negativity. That's the power of gratitude,

Melissa Deally: 00:10:11

and having a gratitude journal, and changing our outlook on how

Melissa Deally: 00:10:16

we go through our day, how we go through our life. So those are

Melissa Deally: 00:10:21

some of the key steps that I am have implemented in the last

Melissa Deally: 00:10:25

eight years and continued because I implemented them all

Melissa Deally: 00:10:28

very soon after learning all of this. And I've continued my

Melissa Deally: 00:10:31

learning. And more recently, in 2022, I really dove into

Melissa Deally: 00:10:36

understanding the power of the unconscious mind, as well as

Melissa Deally: 00:10:39

hypnosis, and I became trained as a hypnosis teacher. And that

Melissa Deally: 00:10:45

is, again, tapping into the ability to go into a deep

Melissa Deally: 00:10:49

relaxation. Have the brainwaves that are a theta, brainwave

Melissa Deally: 00:10:53

level, where we are going inside? The answers are all

Melissa Deally: 00:10:58

inside us. When we slow down, and we pay attention. How many

Melissa Deally: 00:11:06

times do we get a symptom of an illness, and we ignore it, it's

Melissa Deally: 00:11:10

aging is seasonal allergies, is my genetics, as opposed to

Melissa Deally: 00:11:15

recognizing that that symptom is our body's way of talking to us

Melissa Deally: 00:11:18

and asking us to do something differently. And when I work

Melissa Deally: 00:11:23

with my clients, that's what I'm teaching is I'm teaching the

Melissa Deally: 00:11:25

awareness of the way that our body communicates with us. And

Melissa Deally: 00:11:31

we can tap into that when we slow down and get into that

Melissa Deally: 00:11:35

space of mindfulness. And I'm sure it's very similar to the

Melissa Deally: 00:11:43

work that you do, we just may approach it from different ways.

Alan Carroll: 00:11:49

One words that I would use stillness. Yes,

Alan Carroll: 00:11:56

between the sounds that you speak. The sound is a heat,

Alan Carroll: 00:12:04

fire. Stillness is a cool, quiet, still. And there's no

Alan Carroll: 00:12:11

stress and stillness. By training people to be still,

Alan Carroll: 00:12:17

especially with meditation, I'm a meditation becomes a daily

Alan Carroll: 00:12:22

practice that that I Ay, ay, I want. Yes. And I did my work

Alan Carroll: 00:12:33

with Sadhguru. And his shamba V. Practice and Sonia, and it's all

Alan Carroll: 00:12:41

about becoming still and, and I'm in the psychology business,

Alan Carroll: 00:12:45

and we deal with the ego and the being. And you were talking

Alan Carroll: 00:12:50

about the mind body relationship. Let's talk a

Alan Carroll: 00:12:54

little bit about that. Because it's important that people

Alan Carroll: 00:12:57

realize the power of your thoughts, to create the physical

Alan Carroll: 00:13:03

changes in your body. And that idea about gratitude is a real

Alan Carroll: 00:13:07

sweet idea to focus your attention on what you want to

Alan Carroll: 00:13:13

have happen in your life versus, you know, the things that you

Alan Carroll: 00:13:17

don't don't like or don't want. And just think about, oh,

Alan Carroll: 00:13:21

that's, that's really a valuable gift that you just gave our

Alan Carroll: 00:13:25

audience, I want to underline that with a big thank you.

Melissa Deally: 00:13:29

My pleasure. And yes, that mind body connection

Melissa Deally: 00:13:32

is so powerful. Every single experience that we've ever had,

Melissa Deally: 00:13:41

is stored in our mind and body in our cells, as well as in the

Melissa Deally: 00:13:45

filing cabinet in our unconscious mind. It retains

Melissa Deally: 00:13:49

every single memory without judgment, for later access by

Melissa Deally: 00:13:54

the conscious mind. And I think of the the mind, gives the

Melissa Deally: 00:13:59

directions and the body is simply the robot. And I'll give

Melissa Deally: 00:14:03

you an example of how powerful this is and how our thoughts not

Melissa Deally: 00:14:08

only change our, you know our actions and our behaviors and

Melissa Deally: 00:14:11

our results, but they will actually biochemically change

Melissa Deally: 00:14:16

our body. So if you were to close your eyes right now, and

Melissa Deally: 00:14:21

if you're driving listening to this podcast, please don't

Melissa Deally: 00:14:24

everybody else, just close your eyes. And imagine that you're

Melissa Deally: 00:14:27

standing in your kitchen and you can see all the counter spaces

Melissa Deally: 00:14:32

and you can see your refrigerator right in front of

Melissa Deally: 00:14:35

you. And I want you to go to your refrigerator and open up

Melissa Deally: 00:14:40

the door. And then open up one of the drawers in your

Melissa Deally: 00:14:44

refrigerator and pull out a nice, juicy yellow lemon. And as

Melissa Deally: 00:14:51

you do that, close the door, close your refrigerator door and

Melissa Deally: 00:14:55

lift that lemon up to your nose and smell that lemons sent. And

Melissa Deally: 00:15:02

now I want you to take that lemon over to the counter, get

Melissa Deally: 00:15:06

your cutting board, get yourself a knife and slice that lemon in

Melissa Deally: 00:15:10

half. And as you slice that lemon in half, you feel some

Melissa Deally: 00:15:14

juices spray out and land on your fingertips. And I want you

Melissa Deally: 00:15:18

to slice that one half in half again, and in half again. So now

Melissa Deally: 00:15:22

you have a nice one eight wedge of lemon, and bring that lemon

Melissa Deally: 00:15:27

up to your mouth and bite into it. It's so juicy. And then

Melissa Deally: 00:15:33

you're going to throw that rind away as you enjoy that lovely

Melissa Deally: 00:15:37

fresh lemon. And now I want you to open your eyes. And tell me

Melissa Deally: 00:15:45

what happened. Did you notice saliva start forming in your

Melissa Deally: 00:15:51

mouth, as you were imagining, slicing and biting into that

Melissa Deally: 00:15:55

lemon

Alan Carroll: 00:15:57

was like it was real, the same kind of reaction

Alan Carroll: 00:16:00

that I would have over the real lemon. My, my body was specially

Alan Carroll: 00:16:03

in my mouth, there was a bitter Oh, it's gonna be bitter. You

Alan Carroll: 00:16:07

know, I could feel it.

Melissa Deally: 00:16:09

Exactly. And so that shows you the power of our

Melissa Deally: 00:16:13

imagination, which is all in our unconscious mind, your ability

Melissa Deally: 00:16:18

to pull on past experiences to be able to create that image in

Melissa Deally: 00:16:23

your mind of that lemon. As if you were really doing it, the

Melissa Deally: 00:16:26

mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's

Melissa Deally: 00:16:30

imagined. And so as a result, even though I had to imagine it,

Melissa Deally: 00:16:34

the mind thought it was real. So it thought you're gonna eat the

Melissa Deally: 00:16:37

lemon. So it starts producing salivary enzymes in your body.

Melissa Deally: 00:16:40

How cool is that. So that's why I say the body is the robot of

Melissa Deally: 00:16:44

what we're thinking in our mind. And this is powerful, because

Melissa Deally: 00:16:49

when we tap into the unconscious mind, which is where we have

Melissa Deally: 00:16:53

access to 90% of what our mind can access versus the 10%. In

Melissa Deally: 00:16:58

our conscious mind, we have access to so many more

Melissa Deally: 00:17:01

resources. And this is the power of hypnotherapy. It's the power

Melissa Deally: 00:17:06

of mindfulness. It's the power of imagination. Willpower,

Melissa Deally: 00:17:10

people try to do things by willpower, make change

Melissa Deally: 00:17:13

behaviors, etc. And that is all conscious. And it doesn't work.

Melissa Deally: 00:17:19

Because we know and we know it doesn't work, because by the end

Melissa Deally: 00:17:22

of January, most people have fallen off their new year's

Melissa Deally: 00:17:24

resolutions, right. But when we instead tap into the unconscious

Melissa Deally: 00:17:28

mind, we can create behavioral change that lasts. And we can do

Melissa Deally: 00:17:32

it quickly and effectively. Because our mind controls the

Melissa Deally: 00:17:37

body to that extent. And this is really, really powerful

Melissa Deally: 00:17:42

knowledge to have. And it all ties into mindfulness, and

Melissa Deally: 00:17:47

understanding the importance of our mind, the value of our mind

Melissa Deally: 00:17:51

and our ability to calm our mind, which is so important in

Melissa Deally: 00:17:55

today's world because as you mentioned earlier, we're living

Melissa Deally: 00:17:59

in a stressed out stage, the world was the most stressed out

Melissa Deally: 00:18:02

it had ever been before the pandemic. And now it's worse and

Melissa Deally: 00:18:06

everybody looks around and sees everyone else stressed out and

Melissa Deally: 00:18:11

normalizes it and just assumes that it's okay. And they don't

Melissa Deally: 00:18:14

realize the downside negative effects that it's having on

Melissa Deally: 00:18:17

their health. 90% of all doctor's visits are due to

Melissa Deally: 00:18:22

stress. 65% of all chronic illness and disease is due to

Melissa Deally: 00:18:28

stress. So we as a human population, need to learn to

Melissa Deally: 00:18:35

calm our mind, which will calm our body and get us out of that

Melissa Deally: 00:18:40

fight or flight state that is meant to only be to get us to

Melissa Deally: 00:18:43

safety in dire moments of a tiger chasing us when we're

Melissa Deally: 00:18:47

hunting for food versus in and out of it all day long because

Melissa Deally: 00:18:51

your boss yelled at you when your kids are cranky and your

Melissa Deally: 00:18:53

you and your husband had a spat and you got stuck in traffic and

Melissa Deally: 00:18:56

you got a flat tire and you got to the gas station and they had

Melissa Deally: 00:18:58

no gas and all those other things that happened we need to

Melissa Deally: 00:19:03

learn to calm our bodies for long term health and wellness

Melissa Deally: 00:19:09

but also for our happiness today because in that stressed out

Melissa Deally: 00:19:14

state it's really hard to find happiness and joy and live in

Melissa Deally: 00:19:18

that place.

Alan Carroll: 00:19:19

I like to jump into the calm the body calm the

Alan Carroll: 00:19:28

body to me is well yeah, I got my mind knows I can't control my

Alan Carroll: 00:19:34

thoughts but I can control a lot of things about my body if I

Alan Carroll: 00:19:43

choose to. Got to give up the thoughts, but And you talked

Alan Carroll: 00:19:50

about breathing. And so let's talk a little bit about the

Alan Carroll: 00:19:53

value of conscious breathing.

Melissa Deally: 00:19:57

The value of conscious breathing is simply

Melissa Deally: 00:20:00

think that it does trick your brain into believing it's safe.

Melissa Deally: 00:20:05

And it gets you out of that fight or flight state and into

Melissa Deally: 00:20:10

your rest and digest state. And so it is very calming on the

Melissa Deally: 00:20:13

mind and the entire body. And again, it doesn't have to take

Melissa Deally: 00:20:17

long, all of the mindful mindfulness activities we're

Melissa Deally: 00:20:20

talking about can be done in little short spurts five minutes

Melissa Deally: 00:20:24

throughout the day, 15 minutes, you don't have to find an hour

Melissa Deally: 00:20:28

in your, in your calendar. To do this, just start with five

Melissa Deally: 00:20:32

minutes and build on that. And once you've built on that, you

Melissa Deally: 00:20:37

will notice that you're more productive, because you're less

Melissa Deally: 00:20:39

stressed, you're more focused, and then you're more productive,

Melissa Deally: 00:20:42

you get more done. And that in, in and of itself creates more

Melissa Deally: 00:20:45

time for you to spend in mindfulness. So breath work, my

Melissa Deally: 00:20:49

favorite technique is called 557. Breathing. And you

Melissa Deally: 00:20:55

literally breathe in for five counts, you hold for five

Melissa Deally: 00:21:01

counts, and you exhale for seven counts. And you do this for 10

Melissa Deally: 00:21:07

cycles. And the brain catches on and goes, hmm, I thought I was

Melissa Deally: 00:21:12

stressed out. But I'm breathing like a safe person, I must be

Melissa Deally: 00:21:17

safe. And that's when it will switch off the fight or flight

Melissa Deally: 00:21:22

system and turn on the rest and digest system. And that's

Melissa Deally: 00:21:28

because if you are running away from a tiger, you're going to be

Melissa Deally: 00:21:33

running hard. And therefore panting, there's no way your

Melissa Deally: 00:21:37

exhale is longer than your inhale in that stress moment of

Melissa Deally: 00:21:40

getting to safety. So by making the exhale longer than the

Melissa Deally: 00:21:44

inhale, it tells the brain you're safe. The other thing

Melissa Deally: 00:21:49

that it does is so often when we're in a stressed out state,

Melissa Deally: 00:21:52

is we've got all these thoughts ruminating in our mind, and we

Melissa Deally: 00:21:55

can't keep up. But when we have to start doing all of this

Melissa Deally: 00:21:57

counting of 557 and 10 cycles, I don't know about you, but I

Melissa Deally: 00:22:02

count the 557 in my head, but I count the 10 cycles on my

Melissa Deally: 00:22:05

fingers. So all of this concentration on the counting

Melissa Deally: 00:22:09

releases whatever was running around in your mind so

Melissa Deally: 00:22:13

frantically having you stressed out. So it has a double whammy

Melissa Deally: 00:22:17

positive effect. This can be used anywhere you can do this

Melissa Deally: 00:22:20

when you're driving and stuck in traffic and you're going to be

Melissa Deally: 00:22:22

late you can do this just sitting at your desk, you can do

Melissa Deally: 00:22:25

this before you eat a meal, it's actually really helpful to do

Melissa Deally: 00:22:27

that. Because it actually turns on your digestive system because

Melissa Deally: 00:22:31

it's a rest and digest state. And it allows your body to

Melissa Deally: 00:22:35

properly digest your meal and get the nutrients from that

Melissa Deally: 00:22:38

meal. You can do this if you wake up in the middle of the

Melissa Deally: 00:22:41

night, and you can't get back to sleep. Because the mind is

Melissa Deally: 00:22:43

already thinking about the next day. You shut that off, you

Melissa Deally: 00:22:47

start doing your counting. And you'll fall asleep again. If

Melissa Deally: 00:22:51

you'd like me fall asleep before you get to number eight. I don't

Melissa Deally: 00:22:54

do it very often, but when I do, I've never actually got past

Melissa Deally: 00:22:57

number eight before I fallen asleep again. So it's a very

Melissa Deally: 00:23:00

powerful technique. And if you would like I can just guide you

Melissa Deally: 00:23:05

through a couple of rounds of it so you can experience it. The

Melissa Deally: 00:23:08

listeners can experience it again, as long as we're not

Alan Carroll: 00:23:12

sure. Okay, my eyes.

Melissa Deally: 00:23:15

Yeah, I'm gonna have you close your eyes. Again,

Melissa Deally: 00:23:17

anybody listening and not driving close your eyes because

Melissa Deally: 00:23:20

just closing your eyes allows your brain to settle and calm

Melissa Deally: 00:23:23

because we get so much in through our eyes, so much

Melissa Deally: 00:23:26

information and when we close our eyes, it'll just that allows

Melissa Deally: 00:23:30

the brain to start calming. Of course, if you're driving please

Melissa Deally: 00:23:34

don't close your eyes, but you can do this with me anyway. So I

Melissa Deally: 00:23:37

want you to inhale 2345 Hold 2345 exhale 234567 inhale 2345

Melissa Deally: 00:23:59

Hold 2345 exhale 234567 inhale 2345 Hold 2345 exhale 234567

Melissa Deally: 00:24:27

inhale 2345 Hold 2345 exhale. 234567 inhale 2345 Hold 2345

Melissa Deally: 00:24:54

exhale 234567 So now open your eyes when you're ready? And how

Melissa Deally: 00:25:07

was that?

Alan Carroll: 00:25:13

You feel? grounded? Yes, you're you're no

Alan Carroll: 00:25:20

longer lost in the dream of thoughts you are anchored in an

Alan Carroll: 00:25:26

energy field in your in your body? Because that's where I'm

Alan Carroll: 00:25:30

putting my attention. Yes, I will go on, it's gonna

Melissa Deally: 00:25:37

say it's very, very calming for people. So the

Melissa Deally: 00:25:41

listeners are probably thinking, Oh, I just feel calmer, right? I

Melissa Deally: 00:25:46

only did five rounds. And it only took about two minutes. So

Melissa Deally: 00:25:51

do the 10 rounds, so that your brain goes hmm, I thought I was

Melissa Deally: 00:25:55

stressed out. But I'm breathing like a safe person, I must be

Melissa Deally: 00:25:58

safe, and it will switch into your rest and digest nervous

Melissa Deally: 00:26:02

system.

Alan Carroll: 00:26:06

Well, I love it. I love the practical things that

Alan Carroll: 00:26:11

you don't need to go to the university for 50 years or

Alan Carroll: 00:26:13

sitting on top of the mountain, you have access to this tool of

Alan Carroll: 00:26:18

mindfulness called breathing. become more conscious of your

Alan Carroll: 00:26:22

breathing. And you have to pay it in the Buddhist tradition

Alan Carroll: 00:26:27

they talk about disembodied, is your following your thoughts in

Alan Carroll: 00:26:31

body you're following your body. And anytime you can cut the

Alan Carroll: 00:26:37

connection between the mind doing the the mind thing and the

Alan Carroll: 00:26:41

body, it disrupts the the pattern, and you are released

Alan Carroll: 00:26:48

from the from the grip of the thoughts. And that's freedom.

Alan Carroll: 00:26:53

That's that's in India, they call it mukti to be able to

Alan Carroll: 00:26:56

release yourself from the grip of the thoughts. But most

Alan Carroll: 00:26:59

people, what do you mean, grip on my thoughts? What do you

Alan Carroll: 00:27:03

mean, they don't they don't understand the concept that the

Alan Carroll: 00:27:07

thought is something that exists in a space. And if you begin to

Alan Carroll: 00:27:11

focus on the space, rather than the thought, the thought becomes

Alan Carroll: 00:27:17

observable. And and when he can when you can observe the thought

Alan Carroll: 00:27:21

you can manage the thought to think thoughts of gratitude,

Alan Carroll: 00:27:25

rather than thoughts about things that would be detrimental

Alan Carroll: 00:27:27

to my physical body. And so that's real, powerful wisdom

Alan Carroll: 00:27:34

that you share with us. I really appreciate that.

Melissa Deally: 00:27:38

Well, and I think that ties in back to what

Melissa Deally: 00:27:40

I was saying earlier that everything happens for us.

Melissa Deally: 00:27:44

Right. So when we're in that moment of struggle, and

Melissa Deally: 00:27:47

potentially going into victimhood and the thoughts

Melissa Deally: 00:27:50

running around in our mind about why mean data out at Ah, yeah,

Melissa Deally: 00:27:55

if we can pull ourselves out of that thought pattern and into if

Melissa Deally: 00:28:00

everything happens for us, why is this happening? Now? What am

Melissa Deally: 00:28:04

I supposed to learn here? Because when we learn, we move

Melissa Deally: 00:28:08

through it and get beyond it. And there is always to learning?

Melissa Deally: 00:28:13

Why was I let go from work from my job that I love for 24 years.

Melissa Deally: 00:28:18

Because I hadn't yet found my purpose. I didn't even know I

Melissa Deally: 00:28:21

had a purpose to find in all honesty. However, that journey

Melissa Deally: 00:28:25

led me here where my purpose has been very clear. I've found my

Melissa Deally: 00:28:30

passion. I love this work. And if I hadn't been let go, I would

Melissa Deally: 00:28:33

have stayed where I was right sitting in the middle of my

Melissa Deally: 00:28:35

comfort zone. Why did my kids have concussions part of that

Melissa Deally: 00:28:40

was because I it was part of getting me to where I'm at, but

Melissa Deally: 00:28:44

also for them. My oldest daughter wasn't ready to go to

Melissa Deally: 00:28:47

university that year, she was doing what everybody else was

Melissa Deally: 00:28:50

doing and applying and she got rejected by her first choice

Melissa Deally: 00:28:54

University. So she applied it another one, that rejection was

Melissa Deally: 00:28:57

a sign because it didn't come when all the other rejection

Melissa Deally: 00:29:01

letters came out. It came later, she had been tentatively

Melissa Deally: 00:29:04

accepted and then got rejected. And I wondered what the sign of

Melissa Deally: 00:29:08

that rejection was and I didn't know it at the time. Then she

Melissa Deally: 00:29:11

got accepted at her second choice University and the next

Melissa Deally: 00:29:14

day got a concussion. And that told me, she simply wasn't meant

Melissa Deally: 00:29:19

to go to university yet. And if she kept, you know, getting

Melissa Deally: 00:29:23

rejected and applying and getting into other places that

Melissa Deally: 00:29:25

wasn't going to work for the universal plan for her, right.

Melissa Deally: 00:29:29

So they gave her a concussion which was also aligned with my

Melissa Deally: 00:29:35

learning and moving me into health and wellness. And it had

Melissa Deally: 00:29:38

her not go to university and to the following year when she was

Melissa Deally: 00:29:42

much more mature and ready and able to go and live away from

Melissa Deally: 00:29:46

home across the country. And everything happens for a reason.

Melissa Deally: 00:29:52

And what I find is when I apply that the stress of whatever that

Melissa Deally: 00:29:57

situation is is released Because I know what's happening for me,

Melissa Deally: 00:30:02

not to me. And when I step into that place, I'm open to the

Melissa Deally: 00:30:07

learning, it still might not be a great situation. But I'm open

Melissa Deally: 00:30:13

to the learning. And I've moved myself out of victimhood, and

Melissa Deally: 00:30:17

keeping myself in this stress. And that's the power of our mind

Melissa Deally: 00:30:23

that we can do that we have 70,000 thoughts in our mind

Melissa Deally: 00:30:27

every single day? What are you saying to yourself? If you spoke

Melissa Deally: 00:30:33

to your friends, the way you speak to yourself, would you

Melissa Deally: 00:30:35

even have any friends? Are you aware of what you're saying to

Melissa Deally: 00:30:40

yourself, because a lot of it is deeply embedded in our

Melissa Deally: 00:30:44

unconscious mind that was routed there in our, you know, zero to

Melissa Deally: 00:30:48

six age group, or years, and is no longer serving us as adults,

Melissa Deally: 00:30:55

it served us then it had a purpose, then it's no longer

Melissa Deally: 00:30:58

serving us as adults. And it's the root of our limiting

Melissa Deally: 00:31:02

beliefs. And so that's work that I do with clients as well as we

Melissa Deally: 00:31:06

will use timeline therapy to release the negative emotions

Melissa Deally: 00:31:10

that people are carrying around because they've been squashed

Melissa Deally: 00:31:12

down. Because we've been taught not to feel our emotions, and

Melissa Deally: 00:31:15

they're stored in our body in our cells, as I said earlier,

Melissa Deally: 00:31:18

that can create toxicity in and of themselves and cause disease.

Melissa Deally: 00:31:24

We release all of that. And we release those limiting beliefs,

Melissa Deally: 00:31:29

and shift you into the beliefs that you want to have that will

Melissa Deally: 00:31:34

serve you in moving forward in your life. And it's powerful

Melissa Deally: 00:31:38

work. Our mind is so powerful, and we only know this much about

Melissa Deally: 00:31:42

it. But the more I learn, the more I am absolutely blown away,

Melissa Deally: 00:31:49

blown away by the power of our own mind that we carry with us

Melissa Deally: 00:31:53

each and every day. And that unfortunately, this isn't taught

Melissa Deally: 00:31:56

through our education system. But I truly wish it was we could

Melissa Deally: 00:31:59

teach this to our elementary school students. It's starting

Melissa Deally: 00:32:03

to happen, actually, at my local high school, they now do

Melissa Deally: 00:32:07

actually have a mindfulness class, which teaches yoga to our

Melissa Deally: 00:32:11

high school students, which I'm thrilled about, I started trying

Melissa Deally: 00:32:14

to implement that back when my kids were in elementary school.

Melissa Deally: 00:32:17

And at the time, unfortunately, I was told we can't have yoga

Melissa Deally: 00:32:21

classes at school, because that's got religious

Melissa Deally: 00:32:23

connotations. And we don't do religion in public school. And

Melissa Deally: 00:32:26

that might count we just call it stretching class, then quiet

Melissa Deally: 00:32:29

time and stretching class. It took me until my daughter was in

Melissa Deally: 00:32:32

grade 10. And I was working at that holistic clinic. And we

Melissa Deally: 00:32:36

owned a yoga studio as well. And it was right across the street

Melissa Deally: 00:32:39

from the high school. And I was able to get our high school kids

Melissa Deally: 00:32:42

to come to yoga classes during their gym class for one year.

Melissa Deally: 00:32:47

And that was great. And then what happened is they had a gym

Melissa Deally: 00:32:50

instructor go and do a mindfulness teaching course so

Melissa Deally: 00:32:53

that she could then teach mindfulness in high school. So

Melissa Deally: 00:32:56

we're getting there, we're getting there.

Alan Carroll: 00:33:00

I love it. My thought about the speaking piece

Alan Carroll: 00:33:06

is that the the creation of the pause, between the sounds can be

Alan Carroll: 00:33:12

taught to very young children. And you can disrupt the

Alan Carroll: 00:33:17

speaking, which is the ego, to shift to the empty space of the

Alan Carroll: 00:33:22

being at an early age, then there's less resistance to

Alan Carroll: 00:33:26

what's going on in front of them. Because there's now a

Alan Carroll: 00:33:29

space you've been practicing between the sounds you speak,

Alan Carroll: 00:33:33

but also disrupts the thoughts that you think. And then you get

Alan Carroll: 00:33:37

to experience what's on the other side of the thoughts that

Alan Carroll: 00:33:41

you're thinking, which is that infinite space of being, but you

Alan Carroll: 00:33:44

never get to do that, because you're too You're too

Alan Carroll: 00:33:48

constipated on your ego, you're hurt by your thoughts. And I

Alan Carroll: 00:33:52

call that in my business, the the aeration of your thoughts

Alan Carroll: 00:33:56

when you speak, just begin to aerate, put spaces. And you'll

Alan Carroll: 00:34:05

notice that the oxygen flows through the empty spaces into

Alan Carroll: 00:34:08

your body, and the and the relaxed waves of relaxation flow

Alan Carroll: 00:34:13

through the empty spaces that you just created. And you're

Alan Carroll: 00:34:18

speaking. And now that will be a lot without there'll be a it's

Alan Carroll: 00:34:23

free. It's easy. You could you can easily teach a teacher to

Alan Carroll: 00:34:29

play a game of let's play a game of pausing. And it's so easy and

Alan Carroll: 00:34:38

it's so relaxing and allows so many things to happen and it's

Alan Carroll: 00:34:41

an it's free. Well, before we complete the podcast, I just

Alan Carroll: 00:34:45

want to thank you. Melissa was listening to an oracle system of

Alan Carroll: 00:34:51

wisdom you have focused your energy on a particular path and

Alan Carroll: 00:34:55

you are building your muscles on that path and You're able then

Alan Carroll: 00:35:00

to coach other people who are on that path by using these

Alan Carroll: 00:35:04

practical gifts that you've developed in your own in your

Alan Carroll: 00:35:08

own experience. And before it, is there anything else you'd

Alan Carroll: 00:35:15

like to share with the audience, that that would be ways of

Alan Carroll: 00:35:19

contacting, you know, programs that we can contact you that

Alan Carroll: 00:35:26

you'd like to share now with the audience?

Melissa Deally: 00:35:28

Sure, thank you very much. So the easiest way to

Melissa Deally: 00:35:31

contact me is simply Melissa at your guided health journey.com.

Melissa Deally: 00:35:35

Or if you go to my website, your guided health journey.com, there

Melissa Deally: 00:35:38

is a contact button there that you can use as well. One of the

Melissa Deally: 00:35:42

programs that is new for this year that I'll be teaching every

Melissa Deally: 00:35:45

month, I'm actually teaching it this Saturday and again, in

Melissa Deally: 00:35:48

March and onwards, is learn self hypnosis is this is a tool that

Melissa Deally: 00:35:54

you can have to use for the rest of your life. That is a form of

Melissa Deally: 00:35:59

mindfulness, it's tapping into the power of your unconscious

Melissa Deally: 00:36:02

mind, to affect the change that you want to create in your life.

Melissa Deally: 00:36:06

It puts you in the driver's seat, it gives you that freedom

Melissa Deally: 00:36:09

that you mentioned earlier, Alan, and it's a one day

Melissa Deally: 00:36:13

masterclass. It's very experiential. It's a ton of fun,

Melissa Deally: 00:36:18

because again, remember, the unconscious mind is all about

Melissa Deally: 00:36:21

imagination. Playfulness is literally the age of a toddler.

Melissa Deally: 00:36:25

So that's where we get to play during that day. And you walk

Melissa Deally: 00:36:28

away with skills that as I said, you can use for the rest of your

Melissa Deally: 00:36:31

life that will give you 10,000 times more focus on whatever it

Melissa Deally: 00:36:35

is that you want to achieve. And you can literally Hypnotize

Melissa Deally: 00:36:39

yourself into calm into joy into passion into love into health,

Melissa Deally: 00:36:43

into all the positives that you want in your life. And it's easy

Melissa Deally: 00:36:48

to do. And you can again, do it anytime, anywhere in just five

Melissa Deally: 00:36:52

minutes once you learn now.

Alan Carroll: 00:36:55

Oh, wow, that's exciting.

Melissa Deally: 00:36:58

It is. It really is. I've had so much fun

Melissa Deally: 00:37:01

teaching it this year, and had great testimonials from

Melissa Deally: 00:37:05

participants that have already done the course with me. Again,

Melissa Deally: 00:37:08

we could be teaching it in elementary school, we're not.

Melissa Deally: 00:37:11

But I love sharing this with the world to give people the tools

Melissa Deally: 00:37:14

and allow them to understand the power of their mind, and be able

Melissa Deally: 00:37:18

to have tools that they can use every day for the rest of their

Melissa Deally: 00:37:21

life.

Alan Carroll: 00:37:22

Wonderful. Well, thank you for all the tools and

Alan Carroll: 00:37:26

experiences of using the tools and how it altered your life and

Alan Carroll: 00:37:31

changed your life. And I especially especially what

Alan Carroll: 00:37:34

resonates in my mind is that journal of gratitude. That was a

Alan Carroll: 00:37:38

nice thought about oh yeah, I could focus on giving life

Alan Carroll: 00:37:42

support to that thought, rather than giving life support to

Alan Carroll: 00:37:45

these other thoughts. So thank you again, Melissa, for being a

Alan Carroll: 00:37:49

wonderful guest on the mindful podcast.

Melissa Deally: 00:37:53

It's absolutely my pleasure. Thank you for

Melissa Deally: 00:37:55

having me, Alan.